The two-in-one: Being a bridesmaid and the wedding photographer at a family wedding

Being a wedding photographer comes with so much responsibility. This is the day that you know you cannot mess up. Messing up is for other opportunities, but doing a wedding and capturing moments that only happen once, is a skill many photographers don’t have. Now, let’s put the privilege of being a bridesmaid on top of the already hefty ‘wedding photographer’ role. Do you think it is possible? I am here to tell you that it most definitely is, but I strongly advise against it. Here is why:

To be honest, I saw this day coming from a mile away. I have been a bridesmaid before. I know how the story goes. I have also captured many weddings as a photographer, so it was really not hard to imagine how I would fulfil my role as both. I have said no to so many family members getting married who wanted me to capture their wedding, and the reason for that is so simple – as a wedding photographer, your mind is solely fixed on doing the job and doing it exceptionally well. Getting all the shots, planning where the specific photos will be taken, running around between the bride and groom, planning out positions and poses and all the things – your mind is in work mode. I knew I wouldn’t be able to fully be present at a wedding doing both. And I would want to celebrate with family and actually enjoy the night with them without the responsibility of being a wedding photographer. This was until my sister-in-law really needed a wedding photographer, and I was put to the challenge. 

This day came in hot! The Friday before the wedding, I actually had work in Kimberly so I flew there from OR Tambo International Airport at 6 AM in the morning and came back late at night. I knew that the next day was going to be a whirlwind. Saturday came and luckily I had most of my ducks in a row, despite not getting the needed rest I would’ve liked before a wedding. Looking back now, I was a few weeks pregnant but didn’t know yet – talk about first-trimester fatigue! Regardless of the little rest, my heart was truly in a rut. I did not want to be the photographer. I wanted to be the bridesmaid who could soak the whole morning up with the bride-to-be and just enjoy the calm of it all. I wanted to talk and share in the excitement of my sister-in-law getting married! One thing that I am thankful for is my husband, who takes photos with me. He did most of the pre-wedding shots (venue shots etc.) which left me with a few moments to share with the bride. The time came when we had to get ready and the nerves kicked in. We had a plan of course: I had to walk down the aisle first so that I could get the camera and start taking photos as the rest of the bridal team walked in. This went as smoothly as it could. After the ceremony, the group shot was taken and of course, I couldn’t be in the photo. After this, quick family photos were taken and it was back and forth the whole time which got me a bit frustrated – We had to get someone to take the photos when I had to be in the shot. This sounds like it’s not a big deal, but for someone who is very specific and also time-oriented, it felt like a daunting task. The rest of the evening went by quickly, and I decided to put the camera down and dance the night away with the rest of the family. 

To be honest, I knew and also prepped myself that I would do my very best, with what I have. Now, compared to weddings not family-related – I can honestly say it was so different. I wasn’t as focused, I had to constantly jump back and forth between family mode and job mode. Despite this, the photos still came out wonderful, I would just not recommend this to anyone! Rather, spend extra time helping your family member or friend that is getting married, to find a different photographer that is in their budget and enjoy their wedding as a guest.